So don't read this if you don't want to hear me complain about my ex because its really stupid and its just me venting about absolutely nothing. so seriously, stop here. its not worth it..
When I see you, it brings back all of those stupid feels that I had when we were dating. The fact that you treated me so nicely, but made me feel like crap all at the same time. I couldn't talk to my friends that were boys, even if I told you they were gay. I couldn't hang out with my friends on weekends, because that was your time. I couldn't hang out with my friends without texting you every single thing we were doing. You always told me that it was because you were so protective of me because of how much you loved me. You treated me so well in all other ways. Now we're not even dating and you make me feel like crap because I didn't say "hi" to you. You made me feel like someone actually cared about me when we were together, but now I think your aim is to just make me feel like no one ever will.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
FREAKING OUT
So I realize that I have really overdone myself already. School doesn't even start until next week and I can already feel the stress and overwhelming feelings set in. I have Alpha Sigma, House president duties, 18 credits, 15-20 hours a week at work, America Reads, Conduct board, and possibly an honors group Sigma Alpha Pi. HOW THE F AM I GOING TO LIVE?! On top of all of this, my 18 credits include my worst subject in life. like literally, the worst subject I can ever go through is Physics and I have to take it.
I don't know what I can really take out. Sure, I can take out conduct board, but that's not every week, its randomly and to be honest, I started that a few days before my freshman year and its a really good job to have on a resume. I don't want to, and I really can't take out America Reads because besides my 18 credits, its my only thing that is acutally going to my major. I'm sure as hell not giving up Alpha and House president because 1, I love my sisters and 2, I refuse to quite like the rest of my greek family. I obviously can't go down on credits because I want to graduate before I'm 80 and I need all of those classes anyways.
I'm so sorry I'm ranting, and to anyone who dare read this, I feel for you. I've never really used a blog, but god damn it feels good to vent even if no one reads it and no one cares!
I don't know what I can really take out. Sure, I can take out conduct board, but that's not every week, its randomly and to be honest, I started that a few days before my freshman year and its a really good job to have on a resume. I don't want to, and I really can't take out America Reads because besides my 18 credits, its my only thing that is acutally going to my major. I'm sure as hell not giving up Alpha and House president because 1, I love my sisters and 2, I refuse to quite like the rest of my greek family. I obviously can't go down on credits because I want to graduate before I'm 80 and I need all of those classes anyways.
I'm so sorry I'm ranting, and to anyone who dare read this, I feel for you. I've never really used a blog, but god damn it feels good to vent even if no one reads it and no one cares!
Updates on my life - a post from earlier today that didn't post :)
So update on my life, here goes:
I am all moved into the alpha house, which has been pretty fun for the past week or so. Everyone else is slowly moving in and getting ready for another year. I have been seriously wondering if teaching is the right path for me. I feel as though some people look down on teachers and don't expect much of them. I want to have kids someday, and a teacher salary isn't going to let me give them everything they deserve to grow up with. I know that helping and teaching kids is my passion, but is it a passion that I am willing to sacrifice for? on top of that, I'm not smart enough to get another degree anyways.
Secondly, my life has been pretty interesting at home. My parents are finally separating I believe and although it's not the most comforting feeling in the world, all I want is for my mom to be happy. She inst' happy where she's living and doing what she's doing. My mom means the world to me (all that musy-gushy stuff). I want the best for her. I someone to treat her right, not be a drunk asshole who can't speak clearly and remember what he says still hurts, sober or drunk.
That's all for nowwwwwww.. i'll add more later :)
I am all moved into the alpha house, which has been pretty fun for the past week or so. Everyone else is slowly moving in and getting ready for another year. I have been seriously wondering if teaching is the right path for me. I feel as though some people look down on teachers and don't expect much of them. I want to have kids someday, and a teacher salary isn't going to let me give them everything they deserve to grow up with. I know that helping and teaching kids is my passion, but is it a passion that I am willing to sacrifice for? on top of that, I'm not smart enough to get another degree anyways.
Secondly, my life has been pretty interesting at home. My parents are finally separating I believe and although it's not the most comforting feeling in the world, all I want is for my mom to be happy. She inst' happy where she's living and doing what she's doing. My mom means the world to me (all that musy-gushy stuff). I want the best for her. I someone to treat her right, not be a drunk asshole who can't speak clearly and remember what he says still hurts, sober or drunk.
That's all for nowwwwwww.. i'll add more later :)
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